First Idul Fitri Without Marissa Haque, Ikang Fawzi: It Must Be Hard But We Have to Go Through It

This year's Eid preparation is simpler. Ikang decided to host a gathering at his home and invite the extended family. This is done because he is now the oldest member of the family after his older brother passed away.  "There's nothing special, it's just that now I seem to be hosting the gathering at home, because I am the oldest in the family. My brother just passed away, so I invited the Fawzi and Haque families to my house," he said.

The longing for Marissa Haque is very strong, especially when reminiscing about the special dishes that are usually served during Eid. According to Ikang, his wife's cooking has always been something special that he looks forward to.  "It's definitely the food, because the standard ones we usually order. I don't want to trouble my wife, just the special ones that she can cook," he said.

This year's Eid feels emptier without Marissa, who was usually the main driving force in the family. From preparing clothes to planning the Eid celebrations, all those things were always organized by his wife.

"Like the one who leads or starts things, that's my wife. What clothes to wear and where to go, it's always my wife. What time to leave and where to go first, she is the one who plans it. Her ideas always make Ramadan lively. My wife is everything," Ikang said with a tone of emotion.

However, Ikang does not ask his children to replace the role of the late. He prefers to fill the void together and face the trial as a family. "No, we just fill each other's gaps now. This is a calamity and a shared trial that we are experiencing. God willing, my wife has given her best and may she have a good ending," he said.

Although there is no specific tradition that has been lost, Ikang feels a great loss because the central figure in the family is now gone. "It's just the loss of the person who played the most important role in the family. The rituals are the same, just the same, trying to get through this test," he said.

As a form of reminder and tribute to the late wife, Ikang plans to release a song after Eid. The song will be one way to commemorate his irreplaceable wife. "God willing, after fasting for Eid, I will release a song dedicated to my wife," concluded Ikang.