4 Signs of Unrequited Friendship, When Love Doesn't Align with the Heart

Kapanlagi.com - You may have known your friend your whole life, but suddenly you feel that something is wrong in that relationship. They always come to you to pour out their heart, while you never receive the same support.

Or perhaps after undergoing therapy, you realize how your upbringing has influenced your attraction to "energy vampires"—people who always take without giving back.

Whatever the situation, facing a friendship that feels one-sided is very common, according to Jill Weber, a psychologist from Washington, DC. In her practice, she often hears complaints about this issue.

Although Weber emphasizes that it is unfair to immediately judge certain times in a friendship as one-sided, there are signs that indicate the relationship is not mutually beneficial in the long run.

So, what are those signs? Here’s a summary from Kapanlagi.com based on Business Insider.

1. Do You Feel Invisible Around Them?

In a story of unreciprocated friendship, we often feel like an invisible shadow, as if we are merely silent listeners.

According to Weber, during conversations, we tend to be overlooked with no questions asked about ourselves or genuine attention to what we share.

Some friends may have different communication styles, where they do most of the talking while we just listen.

However, if in those conversations they do not show simple signs of attention, such as making eye contact while we speak or remembering small details about our lives that are not directly related to them, it can be a sign that we are only seen as an accessory, not a true friend.

2. You Always Do Something for Them

True friendship is a bond that supports each other in the midst of life's storms, whether facing sadness, illness, or challenging changes.

However, Weber reminds us to be cautious if we feel like we are always the shoulder for others to lean on, as if we never get a turn to be listened to.

Imagine, after trying to comfort them about the last breakup, suddenly they switch to talking about the new boss they are dealing with.

In this situation, Weber emphasizes the importance of attention from friends; even if they are busy, they should at least acknowledge our presence with a thank you or simply ask how we are doing.

3. You Tend to Please Others

In the world of friendship, there are often individuals who have narcissistic traits or a dark empathy, who try to make you feel guilty as if you are obligated to be there for them at all times.

As Weber points out, there are times when you feel trapped in a situation where they seem to have a right to demand more from you, simply because they are part of a larger group or a colleague.

Unfortunately, those who possess empathy and care often become victims in this dynamic, without realizing it.

While having a sense of care is important, don't forget to ensure that you are also receiving equal attention.

If in this friendship you feel unappreciated, Weber suggests starting to set boundaries.

And if all those efforts are in vain, it may be time to consider letting go of a one-sided relationship in order to find a more balanced friendship.

4. The Frustration That Haunts

You may feel frustrated when you are only there for your friend who vents all their problems and anxieties.

This feeling of anger and frustration doesn't just arise when you interact, but it also continues to disturb your thoughts when you are not meeting.

"You find yourself constantly reflecting on this person and feeling annoyed," Weber reveals.

So, if you start to feel these signs, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

(kpl/rao)