Love in the Era of Scrolling: The Changing Relationship Trends of Young People Due to Social Media

Kapanlagi.com - The era of social media is slowly changing many aspects of young people's lives. The way they communicate, seek entertainment, and view the world is now all happening through a small screen in their hands. But unknowingly, these seemingly ordinary habits are actually influencing how young people experience romantic relationships.

In this digital age, where access to content is increasingly easy and screen time is becoming harder to control, the quality of relationships with partners is also affected. This includes a lack of communication, increased conflicts, and a growing fear of marriage. So, what phenomena are currently happening in young people's relationships?

1. High Screen Activity Leads to Less Communication with Partners

Illustration of a young couple arguing. (c) nnudoo/Depositphotos

Is it true that the habit of scrolling through gadgets can affect romantic relationships with partners? The answer is yes, and this is not just an opinion.

A study published in the journal Social Science Computer Review titled "Social Media and Romantic Relationship: Excessive Social Media Use Leads to Relationship Conflicts, Negative Outcomes, and Addiction via Mediated Pathways" by Skye Bouffard, Deanna Giglio, and Zane Zheng attempts to prove this scientifically.

Interestingly, this study did not just ask participants, "How long do you think you spend on Instagram each day?" The researchers actually used objective data from the "Your Activity" feature on Instagram. This means that the duration of use was taken directly from the app's records, not just estimates or the participants' memories.

The results are quite surprising. The longer someone spends time on Instagram each day, the lower their satisfaction in romantic relationships.

The issue is not just about being 'often online', but that online time actually replaces quality time with partners. When attention is more focused on the screen, partners may feel ignored, not prioritized, or just become 'background noise' amidst notifications.

Psychologically, this condition gradually decreases emotional closeness. Satisfaction in the relationship decreases, communication diminishes, and the domino effect begins to be felt, with conflicts occurring more frequently.

Furthermore, this study also shows that the decline in relationship satisfaction can lead to risky behaviors, such as tendencies to cheat, both emotionally and physically, which starts from interactions on Instagram.

2. The 'Marriage Is Scary' Phenomenon Due to Exposure to Infidelity Content

Illustration of a stressed woman with social media content. (c) 9nong/Depositphotos

If you often use TikTok or Instagram, you might be familiar with the term "Marriage Is Scary." This term has gone viral and is widely discussed among young people as a representation of their fears about married life.

Interestingly, this fear does not always stem from personal experiences but from exposure to content on social media. Content about infidelity, household drama, divorce stories, and tales of couples hurting each other is easily found on timelines. Unbeknownst to them, all of this shapes the perception that marriage is something frightening, full of risks, and almost always ends in pain.

In fact, what we often see on social media is the most extreme snippets of a relationship, not the whole picture.

The declining interest in marriage is also reflected in various data. The Central Statistics Agency (BPS) recorded that the percentage of young people aged 16-30 who are unmarried has significantly increased, from 59.82% in 2020 to 69.75% in 2024.

Meanwhile, the Jakpat report "Wedding Insights: How Indonesians Plan Their Big Day" (2024) shows a significant doubt about marriage among singles, predominantly Gen Z.

In comparison, research from the Marriage Foundation projects that only about 56-58% of Gen Z are likely to marry at some point in their lives, which is much lower than the Baby Boomer generation, which is at 77-96%. This indicates that not only has the way of dating changed, but also how the younger generation views the future of their relationships.

The issue of infidelity, for example, often arises as 'evidence' that marriage always ends badly. In reality, every person and every relationship has different dynamics.

Some choose to forgive and rebuild trust through a long process. Others choose to separate to maintain mental health and self-esteem.

Both are valid. There is no single decision that is automatically more correct than the others.

This might serve as a small reminder: it’s not about stopping social media usage, but about how we approach all those stories with more awareness. Not every story needs to be taken at face value, and not every failure of others reflects our future.

In relationships, everyone has their own context and boundaries. When faced with wounds, including infidelity, some choose to endure and repair, while others choose to part ways to protect themselves. Both can be wisely chosen, as long as they are made with awareness, communication, and the courage to be honest with oneself.

Because in the end, a healthy relationship is not determined by what goes viral on screens, but by genuine presence, honest communication, and the ability to make wisely chosen decisions in our own way.

(kpl/wri)