Chat about Seeds, Sprouts, Weight, and 'Speak Up For Love' with Closeup, Jovial Da Lopez, and Kezia Aletheia

Kapanlagi.com - The term 3B, which stands for seeds, sprouts, and weight, is still often used as criteria in choosing a partner. Yes, these three things are closely related to differences in ethnic background, family, economic status, and education of someone that becomes a consideration for their partner.

Although it has a positive meaning, many young people are often skeptical or reject this term because they consider it irrelevant. The term 3B is also considered too conventional or outdated.

So, what is the view of a couple, Jovial da Lopez and Kezia Aletheia, about this term? Have they ever experienced conflicts related to seeds, sprouts, and weight? Sneak a peek at their exciting conversation at the Closeup #SpeakUpForLove event held on Wednesday (6/12/2023) at Habitate Jakarta!

1. Story about Differences in Relationships

In a talk show session attended by Clinical Psychologist Relationship, Sabrina Maidah and Distya Tarworo Endri, Head of Oral Care & Professional Marketing at Unilever Indonesia, Jovial and Kezia talked about their relationship, which has reached its 4th year. They met on a film project directed by Jovial himself.

“At the beginning of our meeting, Kajo was actually very cold. Maybe because of the age difference. Because we are 9 years apart,” said Kezia.

Aside from age, they also felt differences in their family backgrounds. Jovial comes from a family of civil servants while Kezia is involved in the business field. When asked about the terms 'bibit, bebet, and bobot', they admitted to often hearing about them.

“We often hear those terms. Mostly from our parents, who like to remind us. But, in my opinion now the understanding of 3B is already very broad and fresher," said Kezia again.

Meanwhile, Jovial said that although he was known earlier among netizens and the Indonesian entertainment industry, their backgrounds were not too much of a problem when they started their relationship.

"At first, people thought we were a gimmick from a movie, but after continuing for years, many finally realized that we were really dating. Netizens are actually happy because they say we are beautiful," said Kajo.

2. The 3Bs Differences from the Psychological Side of Couples

©KapanLagi/Adrian Utama Putra

Distya Tarworo Endri, Head of Oral Care & Professional Marketing Unilever Indonesia, stated that some time ago, Closeup conducted a survey of 180 couples about the old concept of the 3Bs differences.

Bibit refers to the origin or lineage, such as ethnicity and race, bebet refers to the family's economic background, and bobot refers to education and skills.

The result was that half of them chose to end the relationship when they faced judgment regarding the 3Bs differences they had.

“It's quite ironic, isn't it? Because everyone can have different opinions. But because of the old definition of bibit, bebet, and bobot, they chose to step back,” said Distya.

“They are apparently afraid to discuss their background differences with their parents and families,” Distya continued.

This result is also regrettable for psychologist Sabrina Maidah. She also revealed field facts about the problems of many couples due to differences.

“Most couples who consult with me about their relationship are usually related to bibit. They are afraid to communicate about ethnic and cultural differences. Especially afraid of not being approved by their parents and families,” said Sabrina.

3. New Communication and Perspectives on the 3B Term

Regarding the old concept of 3B that often becomes a problem, Closeup hopes to provide a fresher and enriched perspective.

“We see what is actually still relevant to 3B in terms of choosing a partner in today's era. So, when looking at someone's potential, it's no longer about stereotypes of ethnic or racial backgrounds, but about how supportive and encouraging their family is for growth,” explained Distya.

“Then, about bebet. Socio-economic status is not just about how high they are at the moment, because it should develop. So when talking about bebet, look at their potential for success,” she continued.

“Last but not least is bobot. Usually, the perspective on bobot is only about the partner's education and skills at present. However, both should be sharpened with the same vision and goals as the partner,” added Distya.

“Therefore, we, Closeup, have a new name for these 3B, which is Different, Growing, Together,” she concluded.

This also has an impact on the psychological aspect so that couples dare to communicate the broader definition of the 3B differences. Therefore, no matter the ethnic background, status, and education, it is not a problem.

4. Speak Up for Love Campaign by Closeup

In the talkshow session, Jovial and Kezia admitted that they gained many new insights. They also agreed on the importance of communication and adaptation in being brave to Speak Up for Love, which means expressing their true feelings to their partners.

"Communication and adaptation can be done in different ways. For example, like us, even though we don't often chat, we still connect by sending funny memes," said Jovi.

Closeup also strongly supports every couple to dare to communicate their feelings and celebrate differences with the Speak Up for Love campaign that they are promoting.

Some ways Closeup does this is by always communicating this message through various interesting activities, such as Closeup x Coffee Meets Bagels and XXI, providing dating app access and first dates to 1,500 Indonesian youth.

In addition, there are also inspirational videos of Speak Up For Love featuring Angga Yunanda and Shenina Cinnamon, as well as Adam Suseno and Inul Daratista, which have inspired more than 20 million Indonesian youth.

Not only inspiring, but Closeup also supports with tangible actions, such as the special website LoveForAll.id that provides articles about celebrating relationships with differences and consultation services with psychologists to discuss topics related to relationships.

"Lastly, Closeup also has a new technology platform using AI. Our team calls it Closeup Avatar, which can be used to spread messages of love to partners," concluded Disya.

Reporter: Farhati Haqiya Silmi

(kpl/glo)