The Phenomenon of Soimah and the 'Selection' Tradition for Prospective In-Laws That Has Developed Since Long Ago

Kapanlagi.com - The presenter and famous sinden Soimah Pancawati has once again caused a stir among the public after openly revealing her habits in 'testing' prospective in-laws.

In a podcast with Raditya Dika, Soimah admitted that she does not hesitate to curse and speak harshly to her child's boyfriend who comes to the house. According to her, this is not just spontaneous behavior, but a form of orientation or mental test.

“I always orient my child's boyfriend. I curse, I shout, I show my true nature. If he is strong, then he can become Soimah's in-law,” she revealed in the casual conversation.

This statement immediately went viral and sparked various comments from netizens. Some believe that what Soimah does is merely a form of a mother's protection for her child, while many others think her method is too extreme and could negatively impact the mental state of the prospective in-law.

Read more news about Soimah at Liputan6.com.

1. Not Something Foreign

This phenomenon seems to reopen discussions about an old tradition, namely the role of parents, especially mothers, in selecting their children's life partners. What Soimah did is actually not something new.

For a long time, parents in various parts of the world have felt the need to screen potential in-laws. The goal is simple: to ensure that their children's prospective partners can adapt, respect the family, and are ready to face the dynamics of household life.

If we trace it back to cultural roots, the tradition of selecting in-laws is not something foreign. Indonesia is even rich in customary processes that emphasize the importance of screening potential partners before entering into marriage.

2. Madik and Nindai in Palembang Tradition

In the culture of the Palembang community, for example, there is the tradition of madik and nindai. According to infobudaya.net, this tradition is carried out by having the man's parents first visit a woman's house with the intention of seeing and assessing (madik and nindai) the intended girl.

This way of finding a prospective in-law is to observe the personality and family dynamics in daily life. Interestingly, this tradition is accompanied by the Madik & Nindai Dance.

Through this method, it is hoped that if the girl becomes a daughter-in-law, she will not disappoint the family and her prospective husband. This certainly makes their life expected to run smoothly in accordance with the hopes of the groom's family.

3. Choosing a Partner in Batak Culture

In Batak culture, there is a term called Mangaririt. According to batakkeren.com, Mangaririt is an effort to choose the best partner for a child, whether a girl or a boy. This term comes from the word ririt, which means to choose, consider, and weigh carefully.

Although in many cases it is usually the man who chooses, in Batak culture, it is actually the woman who is more meticulous in this process. The expression “ririt ninna paranak, riritan dope parboru” reflects that both parties engage in the selection process, but the woman's family often has stricter considerations when evaluating a prospective son-in-law.

4. Merging into the Clan

In Batak culture, marriage is considered very sacred. A woman who marries will fully become a part of her husband's clan by merging into the clan of tunggane boru, soripada, and paniaran marga. Meanwhile, a man will become pamoruan or part of his wife's family, who is expected to be reliable in attitude and actions.

Therefore, families from both sides will carefully investigate the prospective son-in-law, whether he upholds customs, has good morals, is hardworking, and comes from a respectable family.

5. Betawi Community Tradition

Different cultures, different traditions. Among the Betawi community, there is a tradition called ngedelengin. This process is akin to an initial review to ensure that the prospective bride or groom is truly suitable. Sometimes it is done by peeking, which means observing the prospective in-laws from a distance to understand their true nature.

It is not uncommon for families to hire a matchmaker, whose job is to bring together and ensure the compatibility of the two families. In some cases, a symbol of approval is even manifested through a gift in the form of a bandeng fish, which is then hung in front of the house as a symbol that the girl has a suitor. This tradition emphasizes how seriously the Betawi community takes the selection of prospective in-laws, ensuring they are not chosen carelessly.

6. In India Until It Becomes a Business

The phenomenon of selecting in-laws can also be found abroad. In India, for example, this practice has even developed into an industry. Many families hire detective agencies to spy on prospective in-laws. They investigate social backgrounds, habits, and even the financial conditions of their children's potential partners.

This business has grown rapidly due to the high social pressure in India regarding marriage. The role of the family is very dominant, making it essential to ensure that the prospective in-laws are free from issues. This practice shows that the tradition of selecting in-laws can undergo transformation, from merely a cultural custom to a modern industry with economic value.

From the story of Soimah to various traditions in the archipelago and India, one thing is clear: parents play a significant role in ensuring that the prospective in-laws meet expectations. Although the methods differ, some through customary rituals, others through the sharp-tongued initiation like Soimah. The essence remains the same, which is to protect the child and the family from unwanted risks.

(kpl/tdr)