Meaning of Taaruf: Definition, Benefits, and Procedures for Introduction Before Marriage

Kapanlagi.com - Getting married is one of the sunnahs of Prophet Muhammad SAW that should be followed by Muslims. If you feel ready and meet the requirements to get married, immediately realize the marriage. Before that, you also need to prepare for it as best as possible. In the initial stage, you need to know the meaning of taaruf first.

The meaning of taaruf itself is an introduction. Specifically, taaruf is a stage of getting to know each other between men and women before continuing the relationship to the marriage level. For those of you who are interested in a woman and meet the requirements to get married, then do taaruf.

You also need to have knowledge in order to carry it out according to the sharia. Therefore, here is information about the meaning of taaruf, benefits, and procedures that you can learn beforehand before actually doing it.

1. Meaning of Taaruf

Illustration (Credit: Unsplash)

The meaning of taaruf can be traced back to its Arabic origin, which is ta'arafa - yata'arafu, meaning to get to know each other before getting married. According to the Indonesian Dictionary (KBBI), the meaning of taaruf is introduction.

In practice, taaruf is done before khitbah. Khitbah means proposing, courting, or offering oneself for marriage. Taaruf can be considered as one of the important processes leading to a marriage.

In the meeting of the two prospective spouses during taaruf, they must be accompanied by others, such as parents or siblings. Therefore, taaruf is recommended and even commanded by the Prophet Muhammad SAW for the prospective spouses to get to know each other in order to establish a sacred marriage bond.

2. Benefits of Taaruf

Illustration (Credit: Unsplash)

After knowing the meaning of taaruf, you also need to know the benefits of this Islamic introduction process. This is done to obtain benefits for both parties, including:

1. Can see the physical condition of the prospective partner directly. Such as the beauty they have, the voice of the prospective partner, and so on. According to NU Online, there is an explanation in At-Tahdzib fi Adillati Matnil Gayah wat Taqrib which says:

"The fourth (of the seven types of men's views on women) is to see for the purpose of getting married. It is allowed to look at the face and the palm of the hand."

2. Can get to know the prospective partner better from the data obtained during the question and answer process during berta'aruf. For example, education, occupation, types of diseases they have, family background, and so on.

3. Minimizing the occurrence of incompatibility with the prospective partner in the future which ultimately leads to divorce.

4. Can avoid the temptation of Satan because the ta'aruf process is not only done with two people, but there is another party who becomes a companion in the meeting. This is in accordance with the following hadith:

"From Ibn Abbas RA, he said: I heard the Messenger of Allah SAW preaching, he said: A man should never be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with them, and a woman should not travel alone unless there is a mahram with them. (Muttafaq alaihi)"

3. Procedure of Taaruf

Illustration (Credit: Unsplash)

Not only knowing the meaning of taaruf and its benefits. You also need to equip yourself with knowledge about how to do it. Therefore, here are the procedures for taaruf that you can understand.

1. Visiting the Parents of the Woman

If you are a man interested in a woman, Islam highly recommends that you visit the parents or guardian of the woman.

2. Establishing Communication

After meeting the parents, convey your intention. Then, communication will be established between both parties. You can ask each other about yourselves. In addition, you are also not advised to meet frequently.

3. Avoid Being Alone (Khalwat)

If you want to meet, you must invite the parents or close friends to the woman's house. Even though you have received permission, you are not allowed to take her out or go for a walk freely.

4. Lowering the Gaze

When meeting, you must still have manners, one of which is to lower your gaze. This command is always followed, including when you meet in a taaruf situation. Allah SWT says:

"Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them." Indeed, Allah knows well what they do." (QS.An-Nur (24) : 30).

5. Istikharah Prayer

You need to perform istikharah prayer to seek the best answer from Allah SWT. After meeting and getting enough information about the prospective spouse, avoid any specific tendencies towards the candidate. You must correct your intention that marriage has the purpose of benefit.

6. Determine the Engagement Time

After getting to know each other, you should not delay the engagement for too long. If you have decided to get to know each other, it means you are ready to get married. Immediately proceed with the engagement to determine the wedding day.

7. Marriage Contract (Akad)

If all the processes of getting to know each other go smoothly and the engagement is accepted, prepare the wedding day.

Well, that is an explanation about the meaning of getting to know each other, its benefits, and the procedures that need to be taken before entering the realm of marriage.

(kpl/gen/ans)